Updated: Jul 14, 2020
You rascals! I see you. I see you laughing at me through that glass window. You are having the time of your life, ain't you, you ungrateful monsters! It was just last week that I folded all of you neatly and stacked you in the closet. Do you have an inkling how long it took? We are in a lock down and somehow, beyond my wildest imagination, you manage to bring home a melange of germs. As if that isn't enough, you get to take a 35 minute bubble bath followed by a leisurely drying session and just to mock me, you laze around with your pink, yellow, red, blue, burgundy friends and add zero value to my life. I have to fold you again, stack you in the closet again before your drama starts all over. AGAIN. Every time I fold you and your friends, I lose precious minutes that I will never get back and my dreams get buried under a mountain of your friends. I question my very existence in those 40 minutes you suck out of my life.
If I start talking about your little friends, I will completely lose it. Those tiny pants and shirts were not made for an adult hand and they don't deserve so much attention. Why is life so cruel? Why did they create socks? And if they did, why did they not tell them to stick with each other? Making anyone go on a mindless treasure hunt to match the socks in the labyrinthine pile of their friends is God’s way of laughing at us.
What surprises me is how quickly you pile up. I swear that you multiply at a rate that would put rabbits to shame and you seem to be awfully proud of it. There are opinions out there that folding clothes is a way to take control over the chaos around us. Marie Kondo’s book on decluttering, which includes tips on folding clothes, has sold 111 million copies worldwide, which makes no sense. While I get the idea of decluttering, making folding clothes a metaphor for bringing inner calmness and overcoming the most willful tasks is beyond me. I just cannot. I have already wasted a lot of time ranting while I should be, guess what, folding you and your miserable friends.